Monday, April 20, 2009

One More Letter I Won't Write

Time and space elude me. I can't keep up or be at the right place at the right time. I vibrate at a different frequency than that I try to interact with. We all do. I have relished it my whole life. I don't want to keep up or slow down. I am always at the right place.

I am inspired by much. Stephen Hawking inspires me. His mind, his wonderings, his questions, his answers. His body, his effort, even his genetic material makes me think with wonder.

If only we all had his strength. His ability to see outside of himself.
I work hard to see beyond myself. If I can see beyond myself, I will see the potential in my life, in all life. And that is powerful good if you've ever felt it.

My diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis was emotionally overwhelming for about 2 weeks. I used concepts of eastern philosophy to see beyond myself. Ideas of space and time keep me grounded.
I could be emotional, self-limiting, depressed, sad even. But I see and feel so much more than me. From quasars to slugs to copper ore and back to quasars. With so much to wonder about, how could I spend too much time on my waning ability to walk? While interesting and curious, humans rely too heavily on emotions to guide us. As though there is nothing else; I have to be mad, sad or really glad.

I believe that Stephen Hawking has balance. He wouldn't make it 67 years with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis if he did not have balance, or a safe place to go in his mind. And his mind has been shared and powerfully applied to life.

He might be overwhelmed with physics, but not ALS.
This is my letter to Dr. Hawking to say thanks. Enjoy the journey. We'll all catch up some day.